Biblotherapy: Managing Midulthooh
{In}turn: The Law of Attraction
“My heart is at ease
knowing that what was
meant for me will never miss
me, and that what misses
me was never meant for me.” ~ Imam ash-Shafìi
My name is Miranda…
As a child I was always curious about life living in a family of 3 siblings, my mother, and my father. Life was good for us we had everything we needed and we was a happy family. Unfortunately at the age of 4 my father passed and as a child I had a slight understanding of what was happening. However, I was not that affected because I felt his presence ever since he left in the physical.
After this, life became harder for my family and we experienced unfortunate events. I’ve always had a burning sensation of spirituality within me but it became stronger at the age of 8. This is because my sister would make me “tag along” with her to meditation classes which I had no idea what it was about. My meditation teacher would often tell me I’m so lucky and blessed to learn meditation at a young age but I could never understand why.
As I got older, my sisters mother-in-law introduced me to “The Secret” a film and book that can change your life the minute you watch/read. This is when I learned about the law of attraction and at this point my spirituality grew stronger. I then realised how important meditation was at this point and remembered the words of my meditation teacher. My life went from being in a black hole to my finding my way out with the light guiding me. From that moment nothing but greatness entered my life because I was practicing the law of attraction and daily meditating.
At the age of 16 I met the beautiful Hope Bastine who brought even more greatness to my life. She was my psychology teacher but I later found out she was also a psychotherapist. I was shocked, because a few weeks before I constantly would think of me meeting a psychotherapist (as this is my dream career) to help me turn my dreams into reality. Me and Hope clicked and I knew this was because of the power of meditation and The Law Of Attraction.
I am now 18 with all my a-levels currently studying an extra course: Health and Social Care. I have an amazing job that pays well at Three, and I do work experience at Fresh Perception – learning the ropes of running a wellbeing company. My social life is full of amazing people and I have a healthy balance of work and play. I am forever grateful for my blessed life because for such a young age it couldn’t be better!
I am currently being introduced to mindfulness meditation which I’m sure will also have a positive impact on my life. Meditation and The Law Of Attraction is life transforming, and even when your life changes for the better the greatness is maintained.
If you want a continuous life of peace, laughs, love, and happiness, and positivity I would highly recommend you watch and read “The Secret”. I also, would highly recommend you attend Hope Bastine’s mindfulness courses to teach you about meditation, even ten minutes a day of meditation could change your life!
Let’s start now, the only way is up!
Miranda signing off, till next week…
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How to Read Yoga: The Poses
“There is no wealth like knowledge, and no poverty like ignorance.” ~ The Buddha
Whether you’re a yoga teacher or a novice, finding good yoga textbook is both challenging and overwhelming. 2,100 Ananas is an ambitions project. No text covers this amount of anasa between a single set of hardback leaves. The 736 page tome measures at 22.2 x 5.1 x 25.4 cm and weighs in at a heavy 2kg. It catalogues the believed full spectrum of asanas to exist and their modifications beginning from easiest to hardest.
The Table of Contents are organised simply and logically with the asanas divided into the eight major categories and their corresponding family of poses:
- A brief introduction into the fundamentals of how to approach your yoga practice.
- Standing Poses
- Seated Poses
- Quadruped Poses
- Backbends
- Arm Balances
- Inversions
- Prone Poses
- Supine Poses
Put together by Daniel Lacerda, a.k.a Mr Yoga , and modelled by 55 beautifully athletic yogis and yogis, each page is clean and clearly set out. The focus of this book is on the fundamentals of the poses, stripped of jargon and wordy descriptions. There are no lengthy descriptors on how to sequence yourself into or out of each pose.
Along with an aesthetic photograph, each pose is identified by:
- it’s english name,
- the Sanskrit name and its pronunciation,
- its modification (which is really a simple anatomical descriptor),
- pose type (a bit repetitive as you know this by the ToC and the section you are in),
- and drishti point (this is a good point to have as not many books make the obvious link).
A nice touch is that each pose is accompanied by an icon representing which chakra point activated by the pose. You would need to familiarise yourself in the introduction with what each chakra lotus represents as they are not name throughout the book.
The male-female model ratio throughout the book are greater than the average display of yoga practitioners in the West. Of the 55 models, 11 are male all with an athletic build thereby doing away with the ‘yoga body’ typecasting that seems to pervade the western yoga subculture. Similarly, the female models are both beautiful and athletically feminine in their physique.
Intermittently, a key pose is given a lengthier step-by-step description on how to perform the pose. There is a glossary and an index of both the English-languaged names of poses and their corresponding Sanskrit name.
Daniel Lacerda makes every attempt to make this compendium of yoga poses as modern and accessible as possible whilst maintaining cultural authenticity to the historical practice each pose is grounded.
My favourite set of poses are the variety of Squats dedicated to the Goddess Kali. She is the personification of empowerment, shakti (in sanskrit). Interestingly, in Tantric practices, Kali is the the highest Universal Principle (the Ultimate Reality) in the universe which is known as the Brahman (translated as the Utmost). It is important to recognise that the practice of yoga is about deepening both your physical and spiritual connection with our masculine and feminine aspects within all of us. This is a practice of balance both psychologically and physically. Be that as it may, the Kali Squat series are every woman’s dream when carving out their boodyliciousness. The Kali Squats are strength building and fun if you’re willing to have a play.
The symmetry in the evolution and global impact yoga had made is illuminated by the national diversity of the models, each acknowledged by their national flag toward the end of the book.
Its refreshing to have a yoga textbook so clear and concise; the introduction gives you just enough for you to understand the roots of the practice and touches upon some of the spiritual practices. However, this encyclopaedia of yoga asanas is just that. If you’re serious about extending your physical yoga practice (Hatha) then this is the book should be on your shelf! But if you’re not interested in the spiritual of things you are not assaulted with jargon and dogma.
A note on narcissism: Buddhist psychotherapist Dr Mark Epstein says that yoga and meditation attracts the narcissistic personality. We ought to be mindful of our tendencies in this way. As we deepen our practice, our bodies positively respond – and if we connect, find our drishti (both inner and outer balance) then we can begin to grow and develop our higher self. 2,100 Ananas is a beautiful book depicting beautiful people. When researching the author, I was acutely aware of an image being maintained rather and invitation to connect. Modern yoga has the tendency to focus on the external image rather than the interconnection. Tools such as this book must be seen as part of our toolkit rather than the next New Wave.
If you are interested in deepening your understanding of yoga and meditation philosophy and spiritual practices, follow us. We will be delving in deeper.
Reference:
Epstein, M. (1995 ) Thoughts Without a Thinker. Basic Books: New York.
Kinsley, D. (1988) Hindu Goddesses: Visions of the Divine Feminine in the Hindu Religious Tradition. University of California Press.
Lacerda, D. (2015). 2,100 Asanas: The Complete Yoga Poses. Black Dog & Levanthal: New York.
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Spiritual Man: Unsaid Paper Thread
Unsaid paper thread
Scribbles from a coffee house napkin
Scribbles from a paper house café
Scribbles from a bonnet or a windshield
Scribbles from the window of a train
Scribbles on the stained side of a mattress
Scribbles on the margin of a play
Scribbles on the dark side of a tree trunk
Scribbles on a sidewalk in the rain
Scribbles in the notebook of your memory
Scribbles in the window of your brain
Scribbles in a shattered glass of freedom
Scribbles inhibition back again
Scribbles say they want recognise you
Scribbles say they want to hold you near
Scribbles on your minds eye all around you
Scribbles draw a blanket on your fear
And you really love the scribbles from the running in your head
And you really wish to unwind all the thoughts that bang unsaid
And you want to know the truth about the scribbles in your bed
And the ink you see diffusing in the pools of paper thread.
©Joe Seteram 2016
If you feel you have something to contribute to the ‘Spiritual Man’ installment of this blog, please contact us.
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Why Don’t we Talk About Mrs Buddha?
Mrs Yasodhara Gautama Buddha
When first I learned how Siddhartha Gautama deserted is 29 year old wife, Yasodhara, on the night of the birth of their son, I found myself considering the strength of the woman. In a society where this was one of the most shameful situations she held her own and refused to desert him in spirit. Though her surrounding family was full of judgement and scorn she held the Mona Lisa styled inner knowing that seemed to provider her with the equanimity to lead her own path with an undefended heart. She must have been courageous and compassionate enough to accept her husband’s path and to let him go.
“Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use.” ~ Ruth Gordon
My reasoning is this: if she was able to rise above the culture of her time, her spiritual growth must have been a little more evolved than her husband’s. You might argue that she had no choice in the matter. He left her. But I argue that her reaction could have been less than gracious. Circa 563 BCE to 483 BCE it would have been easy for her to demand his return to his rightful place beside her as husband and ruler. But she allowed him his personal journey despite suffering the cultural shame and ridicule of her family and people.
“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” ― Michael J. Fox
What triggered such an act of desertion?
Siddhartha was a good man brimming with compassion and empathy for his fellow man. But when Siddhartha caught sight of Yasodhara lovingly doting on their new-born son, Rāhula, the developmental trauma of the death of his own mother not long after he was born filled him with a deep pre-verbal longing and suffering. A latent memory was fired up within him that he could not place it.
Psychotherapist Stolorow says it is unbearable when:
“…emotional pain cannot find a relational home in which it can be held.”
Subliminally, Siddhartha Gautama set out to find that holding home within himself. What became of his searching has impacted every being that has subsequently lived on this earth in one way or another. It is often said that behind every great man is and even greater woman. This wave of wonder would not have happened save for Yasodhara strength – could she have known what The Buddha later taught his followers of having the strength and willingness to pull out the arrow in order to tend to their own wounds with both their minds and their hearts? Sometimes the greatest act of the heart are the hardest to enact.
“One does not have to be helpless and fearful, nor does one have to be hostile and self-referential. The mind knows intuitively how to find a middle path. Its implicit relational capacity is hardwired.” ~ Mark Epstein
What is the source of a woman’s intuition?
As a new mother, Yasodhara’s intuition and connectedness would have been free-flowing. The Oxytixcin and Vassopressin hormones that form the bond between mother and child can almost be like a spiritual experience. The non-verbal connection we feel is visceral and powerful. Those of us who have been mothers can respond to our child needs without so much as a peep. We intuit our child’s needs wants and desires. I could understand my son’s needs and distresses on the particular tone of his cry. Ancient texts describe a similarly close relationship between Yasodhara and Siddharth – as young lovers they were inseparable. Adult relationships are too cemented by these same hormones but are released to a lesser extent than a postnatal relationship. It is then plausible to assume that upon the birth of his son, Siddhartha felt replaced and became painfully aware that his loving wife would be directing her attention from him to his son.
A woman’s personal growth has been far different to a man’s. Historically, if a woman is to dedicate her life to this journey she has been expected to deprecate her feminine essence as proof of her dedication. This is incongruent with spiritual teachings and practices of respect and equality for all beings. As further proof of her dedication a woman would shadow the monastic fellowships, unprotected from their community. Our adaptive ability to ‘step up’ to do what needs to be done for what we know to be pure and right and honorable is a quality of greatness.
But I am not sure if denying our humanness is congruent with what it means to be an authentic human being. It was The Buddha’s step mother and his assistant who caused him to see the hypocrisy in the current trend. I tip my hat to these trailblazers who have sacrificed greatly in our fight for equality. But feminism is not so much about being more manly so much as it is about embracing our womanhood, and honouring what we have to offer the yin-yang cycle of balance. If the scale is tipped, we are incomplete.
This is the year of compassion. A year of empathy. In this cold harsh, isolated society, connection is what we need in order to take our society to the next stage of universal growth and development . These are so-called feminine characteristics, so, let us reconnect with our unique qualities, embody our feminine essence, and contribute to this next cycle of growth.
by Hope Bastine
Reference:
Constans, G. (2009) Buddha’s Wife. Robert Reed Publishers: Bandon, OR.
Epstein, M. (2014) The Trauma of Everyday Life. Hay House: UK.
Gerzema, J. and D’Antonio, M. (2013) The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future. John Wiley & Sons: USA.
Hesse, H. (1922) Siddhartha. Penguin Classics: UK.
Kornfield, J. (1993) A Path with Heart. Batam Books: New York.
Murcott, S. (1991) The First Buddhist Women: Translations and Commentaries on the Therigatha. Parallax Press: Berkeley, CA.
Rev Prof Wright, S. (2005) Whatever happened to Mrs Buddha? Spirituality and Health International Volume 6 Issue 1. Whurr Publishers Ltd
Stolorow, R.D. (2007). Trauma and human existence: Autobiographical, psychoanalytic, and philosophical reflections. New York: Routledge.
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What is Your Writing Ritual?
C’est le premier janvier 2016 and I’m excited!
In the approach to the New Year I allow myself a little indulgence. I endure the city noise and pop in to the heavenly Liberty to pick up the latest Christian Lacroix journal. Every hardbound is a kaleidoscope of exaggerated artistic detail with a splash of cultural insight set to fire-up your creative flow.
This year is no exception: the 132 page journal could easily be passed off as a visual interpretation of Shakespeare’s Garden of ‘A Midsummer’s Night Dream’. Zebra Girl is a descent into the mesmerising world of myth and magic filled with mythical creatures and decadent starlight, butterflies, and flowers.
I break the bind to an enchanting nocturnal fairy tale world which lures me into the designer’s imagination. A pop up is always fun. It has the tendency to throw me back to my childhood bedtime stories (often when we were our happiest). After I’ve realised I’ve lost time I know that these iconic pages are the perfect portal to stimulate my own creative expanse.
My Writing Ritual
I spend a great deal of time at my desk, in the office, at my favourite coffee shop, or in the library. In the path I’ve chosen, its a given. Writing a thesis under the therapeutic umbrella means adopting and integrating a range of writing styles and skills – many of which I’m still navigating. Modern psychotherapy training calls for a balance between the objective-subjective spectrum but this is by no means an easy task. There’s the given academic discursive writing, the reflective case study reports, client process notes, website copy, blog content, and personal growth journal writing.
At £45, a Christian Lacroix journal sits rather expensively on my shoulders; but there is a certain ritual about sitting at a desk to carve on paper your mental impression. I can quite easily live off of stationary porn! There’s the right paper, the right pen, and the right view. Writing a reflective journal is about developing an intimate relationship with yourself. This is, inevitably, hard work that lends itself to procrastination. My personal stance on life is to make it as enjoyable as possible. In this way, my writing ritual has become a pleasure ritual.
Invariably its…
- The right paper. First, there’s the size: A4 is too big (reminds me of ‘work’), A5 is too small (I need space to create), but B5 is just right. Then, there’s the texture of the paper: smooth, solid, and acid free. Next, is the hue of both the paper and the lines: an off white tone reduces the glare and faded lines soften the contrast. Finally, there’s the line spacing – too narrow and I feel cramped, too wide and I feel like an infant. My designer hardbound ticks all these boxes.
- The right pen. I have spent years in search of the perfect pen and my collection is impressive. For me, there has always been something anxiety provoking about the finality of solid black ink. However, a pencil is too slow. So, when Muji came up with their erasable fine point pen, it was the answer to my problems. I can now write free from the fear of making permanent mistakes.
- The right view. There’s a common adage: “clear desk, clear mind”. Preparing my desk for the task ahead is itself a mental preparation ritual. At times, I catch myself staring out into green middle distance deep in thought. My window view must be a portal to nature. Nature inspires creativity and plants provide a rich flow of oxygen my active mind so desperately needs.
And sometimes…
- The right posture. Not only is this about the perfect back supporting chair (I can spend a good few hours in the zone), but its also about circulation. When studying neuroscience, I discovered the power of standing on my head. Every time I begin my work I start off with an hour of meditation and yoga that includes an inversion. First, there’s the psychological change in perspective that has a way of making you see something new altogether. Then, there’s the physiological change of transporting oxygen and precious nutrients to your brain by way of activating a healthy blood flow. Finally, there’s the re-set and re-charge that the headstand button pushes. Holding an inversion for 23 seconds activates the parasympathetic nervous system, if you’re fatigued, it revitalises you, if you’re anxious, it settles your nerves.
- The right atmosphere. I always light a candle (its a balance of life thing), often incense (certain scents trigger states), and occasionally some background music. The music is tricky. It can facilitate the mood, drive the pace, and support the flow, but it can also be a distraction. The rules are firm! No lyrics. No evocative connections. No decibels above the decibel of ‘thinking out loud’. The rule of thumb is that the foreground sound should be no more than 20 decibels above the background sound.
- The right hydration. If you are even just 3% dehydrated, your brain reduces function by 10%. Not only does a dehydrated brain affect your mood and cognitive performance, but it also alters your brain structure. Anyone who knows me knows I love tea. I found myself fascinated by the beautiful Japanese tea rituals when traveling and something stuck.
Reference:
Dehydration affects brain structure and function in healthy adolescents.
Dehydration and its effects on performance.
Knight, C. (2014) http://www.exeter.ac.uk/news/featurednews/title_409094_en.html
MacDonald, D (1995). http://www.eramp.com/david/audio_contrast.htm
Paddock, N. and Behm, D. (2009) The effect of an inverted body position on lower limb muscle force and activation. Appl Physiol Nutr Metab, 34 (4):673-80.
Sarang, P. S., & Telles, S. (2006). Oxygen consumption and respiration during and after two yoga relaxation techniques.Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, 31(2): 143-53.
Vernon, R.J. (2014) Yoga: The Practice of Myth and Sacred Geometry. Lotus Press: Wisconson.
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What is Balance?
The battle between the sexes has been longstanding. But perhaps there is another way emerging as we begin to reflect on concepts of integration.
Balance is central to integration. And as such, there are four philosophical concepts on balance worth meditating on:
- One by itself cannot exist – there is always a second part in existence.
- A sense of Equality – we are not the same but are on a polarity see-saw.
- Energy Creation – when two things come together to create something beautiful they couldn’t normally create on their own.
- A counterpoint avoids a Breaking Point.
If we are to use what we know to create and grow then it would bode us well to set aside our egos and explore the beauty we could create when we integrate our best sex assets and qualities. In psychotherapy, integration is:
“…the process by which a well-balanced psyche becomes whole as the developing ego organizes the id, and the state which results or which treatment seeks to create by countering the fragmenting effect of defense mechanisms”.
Undeniable evidence has provided us with the hallmarks that tell us when our collaboration is working for us or not. Neuroscientist Siegel says, the characteristics of when a harmonious flow created by a balanced integration is when something is/(we are):
- Flexible
- Adaptive
- Coherent
- Energised
- Stable
The willingness to suspend belief and to shift our perspective is when we are truly gods – masters of our universe, forging our own destiny, creators of brilliance!
by Hope Bastine
Hope Bastine is a game changing psychotherapist. A barefoot child of India, she understands the compass of cultural diversity. Born on the foot of the Pyrenees, raised in India, and consolidated her education in Europe, she is a Third Culture Kid. But what has been her constant in the face of an ever-changing environment is her spiritual practice. After having trained as a neuropsychologist, Hope went on to teach psychology. She has now set up a London-based wellbeing company, Fresh Perception, offering spiritual psychotherapy, Mindfulness training, and holistic retreats. She is currently researching her thesis on the personal growth of Meditation and Yoga.
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Discover how to say young on a cellular level with the help of relaxation. Putting your feet up never felt so worthwhile.
If you ever needed a reminder of what a wonderful machine your body is, telomeres are probably it. Never heard of them? They’re part of your cells that affect how you age, and incredibly, the way you choose to live your life can have a direct impact on how they behave. Telomeres are little ‘caps’ at the end of each chromosome, designed to protect your DNA. Along with the enzyme telomerase, they protect loss of genetic information during cell division.
Every cell in your body can reproduce itself up to 60 times in your lifetime. But, as this continual cycle of replication occurs, it uses up energy, meaning the telomeres shorten, eventually signalling to the cell that it’s time to bow out gracefully. So, the shorter your telomeres, the less your cells can divide and therefore the older you get.
There’s a lot of research to show that shortened telomeres are linked to common illnesses such as heart disease, dementia and osteoporosis, and scientists have now begun to understand the crucial role stress plays in that ageing process.
THE STRESS EFFECT
Leading experts on telomeres, Elissa Epel and Elizabeth Blackburn (Elizabeth won the 2009 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for her discovery of telomerase), believe that stress may have such an impact on telomere erosion that it can promote earlier onset of age-related diseases. In a 2004 study of accelerated telomere shortening, Elissa and Elizabeth found that women with the highest stress levels were almost a decade older on a cellular level than less stressed women.
Five years later, the same scientists discovered that elevated levels of stress hormones, catecholamines and cortisol, were also likely to lead to shorter telomere length. They also found that the enzyme telomerase, which slows the rate at which telomeres degrade, may be the biological link between increased psychological stress and increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
‘Stress creates greater cell turnover in your immune system as it stimulates a response to a perceived threat,’ says Professor Baird, a renowned telomere scientist at Cardiff University. This means your body reacts to raised levels of cortisol, often referred to as fight or flight hormone, by using cell division to increase the number of blood cells you have available to defend yourself. ‘Stress ages an immune system as the increased cell division means the telomeres are shortened.’ While a short stressful period in your life, such as moving house, won’t have much impact at a biological level, Baird says that situations that cause long-term chronic stress, which affect the control you have over your life can negatively affect telomere length.
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MEDITATION KEEPS TELOMERES LONGER
A study led by postdoctoral researcher Tonya Jacobs at the UC Davis Center for Mind and Brain, looked at the benefits of intensive meditation training on telomerase activity, which is a good indicator of how your telomeres will shorten over time. Tonya, inspired in part by Buddhist traditions that claim meditation can promote wellbeing, found that people who took part in a three-month meditation retreat significantly increased telomerase activity. It was the first study to suggest that positive psychological change can slow the ageing process. However, those involved meditated for six hours a day- an impossible task for most!
Neuropsychologist Hope Bastine is more realistic. ‘You can still get anti-ageing benefits from meditation, but the key is regularity.’ To get started, she recommends taking an eight-week mindfulness course, taught in weekly two hour chunks. Once you’re confident in the technique, 20 minutes a day is often enough to reap the benefits. Encouragingly, for women with busy lives, she says the biggest payoff comes from staying focussed in the present, what she calls ‘real time;, so you needn’t lock yourself away in a quiet room to de-stress if it’s not feasible. ‘Many of my clients say, they use cycling as their meditation,’ she says. ‘The exercise allows you to remain ‘tuned in’ to the present. Once you’ve mastered the mindfulness technique, it can be applied to anything.’
Hope also recommends yoga, ‘as a single hour session can help boost your mood.’ Again, urging you to practise daily she recommends online lessons- yogaglo.com is her favourite – and classes, as group support helps you improve and stick with it. ‘Oxytocin and vasopressin, the bonding hormones, are released to calm our stress, especially in groups.’
The benefits of better social support have shown to increase length by 10 per cent if combines with 30 minutes’ daily exercise and meditation, and a healthy diet, according to a study.’
TAKE A HOLISTIC APPROACH
With regards to diet, a Nurses Health study in 2014 found that ‘those who stuck to a Mediterranean diet, traditionally associated with olive oil, fresh fruit, nuts and grains, were found to have longer telomeres.’ This seems to support studies that show we can help to cut stress by eating healthily.
Staying active throughout the day is also key. A British study of 1,200 pairs of twins found ‘shorter telomeres in those who were less physically active during their leisure time.’
It may sound like the same sort of healthy life-style advice you’ve heard before- lots of exercise, eat fruit and veg, manage stress- but science now proves why these things can make such a difference to your quality of life- the adage ‘healthy mind, healthy body,’ really does apply. Treating your body with care and respect can preserve the length of your telomeres, therefore your lifespan, so what better reason to invite more peace and calm into your life?
Originally published in TOP SANTÉ magazine on October 2015 by Sharon Brennan
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The Athena Doctrine: Is the future of PR feminine?
A cult book promoting feminine thinking could be applied in PR to improve business outcomes.
Two years ago a book set tongues wagging across the globe when it asserted that ‘feminine’ values could be the answer to many of humanity’s woes.
The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future based its premise on a worldwide piece of research with 64,000 people. The study highlighted a growing dissatisfaction with what many perceived to be masculine values and traits dominating global business and politics. The book’s broad conclusion was that if men thought and acted more like women, the world might be a better place (see separate text box).
The Athena Doctrine is not alone in driving the debate around masculine versus feminine in the world of leadership. There has been a plethora of publications, studies and media focus around similar issues.
2013 also saw publication of Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, authored by Facebook CEO Sheryl Sandberg, which acted as a siren-call for women to embrace their skills and challenge perceptions about what they can and cannot achieve.
Last year Ketchum’s Leadership Communication Monitor, a survey of 6,500 people in 13 countries examining the link between effective leadership and effective communication, revealed that globally female leaders were deemed to perform best on the most important leadership attributes: leading by example; communicating in an open, transparent way; admitting mistakes; bringing out the best in others and handling controversial issues or crises calmly. However, survey respondents still looked to men (54 per cent) to navigate the world through challenging and rapidly changing times. In the UK that number rose to 60 per cent of respondents thinking male leaders were best placed to do this, despite also believing women outperformed men when it came to the most important leader attributes.
And so the discussion rages as to what masculine and feminine qualities are, whether they are exclusive to each sex and how businesses might benefit from better understanding of how to tap into the best of both.
Certainly, when it comes to the PR industry, it is no secret that it is dominated by women until it comes to the boardroom – a predominantly male domain. So is there a case for applying more feminine traits, as outlined in The Athena Doctrine, to PR leadership and is it only women who can do this?
The answer, it seems, is a resounding yes and no. Psychologist and hypno-psychotherapist Hope Bastine, who runs her own company Fresh Perception, says:
“There’s no denying men and women are fundamentally different. Most men are prone to be logical and objective, while women tend to be empathetic and subjective. Men appear to work well with facts. Women appear more relationally driven. However, what is interesting is that research is showing that, given training, so-called masculine traits are learnable by women and so-called feminine traits learnable by men. This is further supported by neuro-scientific research that shows that our IQ increases through group collaboration: We are our best selves when we work together.”
Bastine says this underlines the argument that in order to meet the demands of our evolving society, the need for integration and balance is tantamount:
“Balance is about two things/people coming together to create something they couldn’t normally create alone. In order for any business to be the best it can be, it has to not only optimise from each of the sexes’ traits, but also learn and grow from what each has to offer.”
Building relationships
Heather Baker, founder and CEO of TopLine Communications, a £1m-turnover agency employing 15 people, says: “I hate the term ‘feminine values’, but I guess there are some qualities more common to women than men.” Empathy and emotional intelligence are just two traits identified by Baker, and everyone else PRWeek interviewed, as typically feminine and essential to building and then maintaining relationships with clients.
However, Baker is quick to disabuse any notion that feminine traits or values are exclusive to women. “Besides vaginas, nothing is exclusive to women. I know lots of men with great empathy and high EQs, but also encounter many women who wouldn’t be able to identify another person’s emotions if they were distributed on a newswire and published on the front page of the FT.” She adds that to be successful in PR, and in business, men and women must be able to make an impact and influence people: “Being able to relate to their pain and unique experiences makes this easier.”
Rebecca Oatley, MD of Cherish PR, an all-women boutique agency specialising in digital businesses and brands, argues that perhaps one of the main reasons women have gravitated towards PR is because traditionally the skill set needed was that of many women: “Half those traits identified as feminine in The Athena Doctrine are those that you really do need in PR, but I think it would be simplifying things too much to say that any particular traits or skills are exclusive to men or women.
“A good PR leader will be able to look at a situation and make a decision about the style of consultant best suited to working with that particular client.”
But Oatley says she is now noticing an increasing number of men applying for positions that might once have only attracted women, driven by changing media dynamics that call for broader comms skills.
“Traditionally a PR consultant sat between the client and the media owner – understanding and listening from a client point of view, but also understanding what the journalist needed. Keeping both sides happy is a feminine trait, but the media landscape is changing and PR is now more about mobilising groups of people in your clients’ interests. That needs a different skill set and plays to more masculine traits.”
But Oatley again comes back to identifying the right ‘human’ traits for the job rather than specific to gender:
“We can’t choose people by gender; it’s more a question of what traits we should foster or nurture.”
Collaborative working
The idea of using both feminine and masculine skills to navigate the changing comms landscape is also championed by Weber Shandwick MD Rachel Friend: “As our work becomes increasingly integrated, we need to work more closely with our sister agencies and show one another respect for the new skills and expertise we can each bring to the table without being threatened or aggressive. The same applies to our changing talent pool, where we must embrace people entering our agencies, find out what they can do and how we can use them, while nurturing our existing talent.”
She stresses that while doing this will take open-mindedness, empathy and flexibility, it is “absurd” to isolate feminine values as exclusive to women: “I know many men who naturally display female traits and, no surprise, they often end up in leadership positions. Equally I know many women in PR who have tried to suppress their feminine values and, to be honest, it’s to their detriment.”
Julia Meighan, CEO of VMA Group, a recruitment company specialising in the comms industry, says while we should not need to talk about ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ values, those labels are still necessary, particularly in corporate comms leadership: “Although PR teams are usually female dominated, our Business Leaders in Communications study found 82 per cent of organisations with revenues of £15bn or more had a male lead in corporate comms.
“Females are under-represented in management and leadership and yet all evidence points to the fact that the most successful organisations have more diverse leadership teams, which fully exploit the most valued traits of both females and males.”
Meighan says one of the barriers traditionally in the way of women achieving top management positions is a lack of confidence: “It is a proven fact that a woman’s upbringing is more likely to impact levels of self-esteem and confidence throughout her life compared with her male counterparts. This can make it more challenging to do equally well in a senior role, despite talent and ability.” This lack of confidence is certainly a trait noticed by Denise Kaufmann, CEO of Ketchum London, who leads a team of 250 men and women.
“I honestly believe that masculine and feminine traits are equally important in business leadership,” she says. “Being empathetic and compassionate is important but at times you have to be tough. But a part of me hates to think of things as either masculine or feminine. Well-rounded leaders exhibit both.”
However, she adds that a “big” difference between men and women is in the conversations they each have when it comes to discussing salary, career advancement and their ambitions. Men, says Kaufmann, are likely to be more confident in understanding their worth to an organisation and what the compensation should be in return for that worth.
Kaufmann’s answer to this is for women to be more supportive of each other, but more
importantly for organisations to foster greater diversity and harness the best traits in everyone. “It’s about enabling everyone to be their best self, whether that happens to be a man or a woman,” she concludes.
What is the Athena Doctrine?
The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future was written by John Gerzema – an expert in using data to identify social change and helping companies anticipate and adapt to new interests and demands – and journalist Michael D’Antonio. It is based on an in-depth survey of 64,000 people in 13 countries across a range of social, cultural and political diversity.
The authors interviewed a range of people, from world political leaders to villagers in Northern India. The study found what they call “a world of extended anxiety” where 86 per cent agreed there was too much power in the hands of large corporations and 51 per cent did not trust life would be better for their children.
hey found many people were dissatisfied with the conduct of men, including 79 per cent of people in Japan and South Korea and two-thirds of people in the US, Indonesia and Mexico. Men were associated with “codes of control, aggression and black and white thinking” causing wars and inequality. It revealed that 66 per cent of people agreed the world would be a better place if men thought more like women.
The authors set out to define masculine and feminine traits in a simple way and then measured public attitudes towards them. They asked half their survey sample – 32,000 – to classify 125 human behaviour traits as either masculine, feminine or neither. Forty traits were labelled as masculine. They included positives such as being analytical, logical and focused but also arrogance, aggression and stubbornness.
Just a handful of traits (13) were given neither a masculine or feminine bias including authenticity, tradition and fun. However, 68 traits – the majority of them positive – were given a feminine label. These included being articulate, reliable, intuitive, patient and emotional.
They then gave those same 125 traits, without the gender assignment, to the other 32,000, asking them to rate them in terms of importance to leadership, success, morality and happiness.
The authors drew the conclusion there was a strong consensus on what is feminine and masculine and that feminine thinking is vital to making the world a better place. They assert people seek more expressive styles of leaders, and while masculine qualities such as decisiveness and resilience are important, so too is flexibility.
The authors also assert feminine values create more effective organisational strategies and can underpin change management.
The Athena Doctrine’s conclusion is that feminine thinking is the “operating system” for 21st century progress and women, or men who think like them, are the key to the future.
athenadoctrine.com
Comment: The Athena Doctrine and the focus of long-term thinking and business values
Sarah Locke, Global Brand Ambassador, MWW
As we celebrate International Women’s Day and consider The Athena Doctrine, I have been reflecting on ‘female values’ and how being a woman affected my own career journey, culminating in the sale of my business four months ago.
I was fortunate to meet an extremely inspirational woman at the start of my career whose vision, values and dynamism as an MD gave me the determination to set long-term goals early on.
My early experiences laid the foundations of wanting my own PR agency to have a distinctive offer and clarity on how that agency would build its business, its reputation and its value to clients. With that vision, I knew the path I needed to take to gain experience and to learn from business leaders that I represented and worked with.
The value of having your long-term goals and objectives for your business set down at a very early stage enables you to consider the structures you need to put in place to future-proof your business.
These include positioning of the business, the values you express, the structure of your management, the confidence to bring senior people in and pass on business responsibility and, most importantly, being true to your own strengths and knowing your weaknesses as the owner/founder.
I knew I wanted to find a larger home for my business. It wasn’t really about money. The challenge was always to find a business that shared the same values, respected how the senior management worked and valued collaboration. The most important thing was being able to sit at the same table and work well together.
It took several years, many conversations and much hard work to find the right partner. But eventually I did.
I would encourage anyone who has the desire to build their own business to really understand their goals from the outset, to know if it is a business you want to build and sell or take some other route. You must truly understand the drivers of your business and the values you have. You need to know how you work best and who with, to build the best relationships with your teams, clients, suppliers and your potential business partners.
Originally publish In PR Weekly on 5th March 2015 by Lisa Moore
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Mission Statement
Finding Mrs Buddha opens up the animated question of: “How can a woman lead a spiritual life whilst embracing her femininity?” A woman’s search inside herself is far different to that of a man’s. She must ground herself in the timeless archetypal feminine wisdom as she navigates her way through the richness and complexities of the 21st century. To Mrs Buddha, the pursuit of higher knowledge and wisdom in the face of moral imagination is as much the flame of virtue as is living with an undefended heart. In a culture of transcendence she must be courageous enough to cross boundaries and challenge the misconception that virtue is perfection.
“To err is to be human”
This is the fundamental tenet of an examined life. As a soul with a lust for life, Mrs Buddha knows what it means to be human and finds strength in her vulnerability as a woman.
In her search for her Buddhahood, Mrs Buddha confesses her own misgivings through the lens of cultural issues, socioeconomic politics, literature, the arts, spiritual philosophy, psychology, and neuroscience as she examines her life-obstacles. She encourages a fresh insight that will engage us in questions such as:
“how can we best serve our self and our community?”
She acknowledges that the only way to live is to thoughtfully dive into the mysteries of our human condition. Our existence is determined by our willingness to forge the frontiers of our inner space – found in the space between our mind and heart. She believed our enlightenment could be found in this balance. Our journey to Buddhahood is challenging but fill with excitement. The wonders of our human existence are breathtaking if only we were to stop to look at the view.
The ‘what’ is never really the issue. The issue is: how do we live? How do we untangle ourselves from the vicissitudes of our own condition? How do we make our human condition a virtue of our existence? The science of self-examination and then turn out reactions into creative actions is key to a life we can be proud of. That sometimes means being open to learn from our mistakes and the willingness to be empowered by them. Personal/spiritual growth is about meeting our edge. The truth is, Mrs Buddha makes countless mistakes. Sometimes she meets that edge head on and learns from them and sometimes it takes a number of retakes to make a the change. Finding Mrs Buddha is an account of those mis-takes.
In the main, as a woman of the 21st century, she asks:
“What does my here-and-now really look like?
Hope Bastine is a game changing psychotherapist. A barefoot child of India, she understands the compass of cultural diversity. Born on the foot of the Pyrenees, raised in India, and consolidated her education in Europe, she is a Third Culture Kid. But what has been her constant in the face of an ever-changing environment is her spiritual practice. After having trained as a neuropsychologist, Hope went on to teach psychology. She has now set up a London-based wellbeing company, Fresh Perception, offering spiritual psychotherapy, Mindfulness training, and holistic retreats. She is currently researching her thesis on the personal growth of Meditation and Yoga.
Finding Mrs Buddha 